GI JOE Pornography Story: Bad Medicine Chapter 1

Bad Medicine Pt 1.

Disclaimer: I dont
own any of the GI Joe characters.

Chapter One.

AN: This is a prequel
of sorts to my story Hawks Holiday. It explains a few of the
events leading up to that story.

GI Joe HQ: The PIT,
Arizona. 1035hrs.

Lt. General Clayton
Abernathy, or General Hawk, was having a really bad day.

This was not an unusual
occurrence, granted. Between dealing with the bozos at the Pentagon
who were constantly telling him how to run his command, not to
mention a few of the clowns under his command would drive anyone to
drink.

The last few days had
been worse than normal though. He had spent the last week or so at
the Pentagon in the company of the Jugglers, a secret committee
of 4-Star Generals and Admirals that virtually ran the US Armed
Services. Hawk had little doubt that when they had originally formed
years ago, they had the best of intentions. To use one saying the
road to hell is paved with good intentions. But the maxim that
best described the Jugglers would be Power corrupts, and absolute
power corrupts absolutely.

Being the only 3 Star
General in the Jugglers had several disadvantages, but he managed to
thwart them as much as he could through guile, cunning, outright
blackmail, and a bit of dumb luck on occasion. Last week though, they
managed to really get under his skin.

They wanted to cut his
budget as usual, this time by a ridiculous 35% or more. This time
though they came armed with information about some of the Joes
recent setbacks, the loss of over 30 people on Cobra Island, the
failure to capture Serpentor or Cobra Commander, and of course,
Snake-Eyes and his latest hare-brained escapades. They had presented
their findings to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, The
Secretary of Defense, and finally, The President of The United
States.

Hawk ended up on the
defensive, a position he detested. With a lot of pleading, cajoling,
and a bit more blackmail, he managed to talk them out of not cutting
back his budget too badly. But a 15% cut hurt a bit so several
sacrifices would have to be made, most notably in personnel
replacement.

Although the way
certain personnel at the base had been acting lately, sacrificing
them, preferably on a large altar with Hawk using a big knife and a
bowl to hold the hearts, was starting to look like a good idea.

The boredom that
usually hit the Joes in between missions had hit in a big way.
Shipwreck, Leatherneck, Wet Suit, and a few others had managed to
level the rifle range, again. He had explained it to them several
times, the rifle range is for rifles the artillery and bazooka
range is for artillery and bazookas. Never try to mix the two. You
would think they would have figured it out by now, but nooo.

Then there was the lab.
Emphasis on was. The lab was completely destroyed after Duke
allowed Blowtorch, Airtight, Tripwire, and a few of the other
resident mad scientists to perform some experiments, the same
experiments that resulted in a lab table being vaporized, literally.
Duke must have been half asleep, or drunk, when he gave the okay that
was the only reasons Hawk could see for Duke giving them permission
so easily.

By the time he figured
it out, it was too late. He was about to run down there when Barbeque
called him from the former lab. Duke, to his credit, didnt shoot
any of the guilty party, at least not yet.

With this entire mess
going on, combined with falling flat on his face during morning PT, a
Greenshirt making him spill his first morning coffee on himself, and
a few other factors, suffice it to say anyone who saw Hawk storming
down the halls saluted respectfully, scurried out of his path
quickly, and otherwise kept quiet as if their very lives depended on
it, which was most certainly the case.

Unfortunately for Hawk,
fate was about to make everything that had happened to him thus far
seem like a welcome relief in comparison. The intervention took form
in 3 things, a maintenance person, a freshly mopped floor, and a
flight of stairs.

Hawk came storming out
of an office, and headed towards his own. He had just finished having
a blazing row with his Command Sgt. Major, Beachhead over some
trivial matter or other, and was headed towards the stairs that would
take him up to his private office, a path, which took him over the
aforementioned mopped floor.

This wasnt the
maintenance mans fault, as Duke would state in his report later.
He was just going about his daily routine, as he had always been, for
as long as anyone could remember. He did his job, never complained,
and never took sick days, day in, day out, with very little
variation, which was amazing considering where he worked.

He had just finished
that particular stretch of hallway and was changing the water in his
bucket, when he heard the scream. That was not part of his normal
routine. He turned off the water and went to investigate. Rounding
the corner to the hallway he had just mopped, he noticed a few
telltale signs that something was wrong. Footprints that traveled
from one end of the hall next to the Caution: Wet Floor sign,
part way down the hall where the person hit a particularly wet patch,
then skidded the rest of the way and down the steps.

The maintenance man
started to get nervous as he peered down the stairs. Several years
without an accident, and now this happens, he thought. As he
was afraid of, there was a crumpled, but still breathing, body at the
landing 3 floors down. He cautiously made his way towards the person,
while calling for assistance on his radio.

Can you see who it
is? The voice on the other end asked.

Yeah, its
His voice faded as he saw who had fallen. Visions of firing squads
danced in his head.

Well, who is it?
The voice demanded irritably.

General Hawk. He
croaked in reply.

There was a long pause.
Oh shit! The voice exclaimed.

You can say that
again. The maintenance man replied. He figured that he would be
calling in sick tomorrow. And the next day as well.

Sickbay, 2 hours
later.

Lifeline was nervously
pacing back and forth waiting for the arrival of Duke and Flint.
Stretcher, his corpsman, sat at his desk and watched him.

You know, I should
be allowed to shoot you with a paintball gun when you do that.
Stretcher remarked casually as he went back to his magazine.

How can you be so
casual at a time like this? Lifeline asked with a hint of
exasperation in his voice.

Practice.
Stretcher replied with a grin.

Hello! In case you
hadnt noticed, we have the C.O. of the GI Joe team in sickbay!
Lifeline was almost shouting as he waved his arms around.

Stretcher sighed.
Relax, man. He took a tumble down the stairs. Could happen to
anyone.

But its not
anyone, its Hawk! Lifeline was getting even more excited.

Stretcher sighed again
and stood up to his full 64 height. The former Olympic
weightlifter walked up to the unit M.D. who flinched under his gaze.

Lifeline, you are my
boss, and my friend, but if you dont sit down and relax, I will be
forced to sedate you. He said in a firm voice. Lifeline got the
hint and sat down and quietly fidgeted. Stretcher looked satisfied as
he sat back down and picked his magazine up again.

Duke and Flint finally
showed up 5 minutes later. They had just finished debriefing the
maintenance man and a few others, including Beachhead. They told the
maintenance man that it wasnt his fault, and gave him the week off
to recover his nerves.

How is he? Duke
demanded without preamble.

Hes asleep now.
He has a minor concussion, and he banged up his back a bit, but
otherwise hes okay. Lifeline replied.

Thats a relief.
We dont need Hawk out of action for too long. Flint said.

Were going to
keep him in sickbay for a few days for observation, but he should be
fine after a few days bed rest, and a few visits with the
chiropractor. Lifeline added.

You sure you guys
can handle him? He has been a bit irritable for a few days, so he may
be a bit difficult. Duke said.

We can handle him,
dont worry. Stretcher replied with a confident smile.

But if you could
send Scarlett, or one of the other ladies to help out, wed
appreciate it. They were a big help the last few times Hawk was in
here. They did a good job of boosting his spirits. Lifeline said.

Flint chuckled. Well
see what we can do.

What the hell is
going on here? Hawk bellowed from the next room making everyone
jump. They all rushed in to see that Hawk was awake and trying to get
out of bed.

What am I doing in
sickbay? So I took a tumble, big deal. Let me out of here, now! I
have work to do. Hawk tried to stand but the pain in his head and
lower back made him flinch, and he nearly toppled over. Stretcher
caught him and easily put him back into bed.

Im sorry sir, but
you sustained a minor concussion, and what looks like a few strained
or pulled muscles in your lower back. So Im afraid that youre
going to be our guest for a few days. Lifeline tried to smile, but
the look Hawk gave him effectively wiped the smile from his face.

Dont worry, a
little TLC, a little bed rest, and youll be as right as rain in a
week or so. Stretcher added cheerfully. Lifeline stared at him
wondering how he could be so cheerful when his carrier as a Joe was
about to come to an abrupt end.

A week! This place
will fall apart completely by then! Hawk shouted, wincing in pain.

Flint, Beachhead and
I can keep things going while youre here. We already have the lads
rebuilding the rifle range and the lab in order to keep them
occupied. Just relax and enjoy your impromptu vacation. Duke said
in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

Yeah, well have
Roadblock make you a nice dinner, and well wheel in a TV, DVD
player and a pile of shows to watch. Anything to make your stay
comfortable. Lifeline added with his fingers crossed behind his
back.

Hawk glowered at their
smiling faces, than he relaxed a bit. I suppose I could use the
rest. He sat and pondered a bit. Fine, Ill try to relax.
Just get me some stuff from my office. He winced in pain again.
And could you give me something for my back, please?

We have some new
stuff that just got approved by the FDA, for sore muscles and the
like. A friend of mine in Johns Hopkins Hospital recommended it
highly. Lifeline went over to a cabinet and came back with a
bottle of little pink pills. Take one of these every six hours and
dont take more than four of them in one day. He also said that you
shouldnt take them with coffee.

Fine, whatever. Just
give me one for now and well see what happens. Hawk said.
Stretcher poured a glass of water and handed it to Hawk, while
Lifeline handed him a pill. Hawk took the pill with the water then
sat back and relaxed. Within a few minutes, the pain in his back
subsided, and he relaxed a bit. Soon he was asleep. The others went
back out to the office.

He should be okay in
a week like I said. Lifeline stated.

Thats good. Well
keep the children occupied until then. In the meantime well have
someone bring Hawk the stuff he asked for. Flint said before he
and Duke left the sickbay, leaving the medics alone with their
patient.

While Hawk slept, a
large TV with a DVD player was quietly wheeled into the room, and
Hawks briefcase was brought in as well. After the TV/DVD was set
up, the Joes doing the setup left as quietly as they came in.

A few minutes later,
Firewall, one of the teams new computer specialists came into
sickbay. Despite his gruff demeanor, she regarded Hawk as kind of a
father figure, and in turn, Hawk had taken a liking to the young
computer hacker.

How is he doing
Lifeline? She asked while peering in at him while he slept.

Hes going to be
fine. What do you have there? Lifeline pointed at the disks in her
hand.

Oh, these? Just a
couple of DVDS I made up a few days ago for Hawk. We were talking
about, of all things, old cartoons on TV, and he mentioned that he
liked some of the old Hannah-Barberra stuff. So I recorded all of the
episodes of this show called Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. It
features a bunch of the old characters acting way OOC. Its a bit
risqu, but I thought he would get a kick out of it. She said
with a smile.

Lifeline smiled back.
Im sure he will, thank you. Ill be sure to give them to him
when he wakes up. Hell appreciate the gesture Im sure.

Thanks Lifeline.
Firewall hugged him and gave him a peck on the cheek, causing him to
blush before she left.

Lifeline chuckled a
bit. Ah, youth. He mused aloud. He placed the disks on top of
the pile by Hawks bed and checked in on the sleeping General.

Its going to be
an interesting week. He mused.

He had no idea how
right he was going to be about that.

TBC.