GI JOE Porn Story: Twas The Night Before Christmas Leave Chapter 1

Disclaimer:
I don’t own G.I. Joe or “T’was The Night Before Christmas”.

—

T’was
The Night Before Christmas Leave

By:
J.T. Magnus, Turbo

—

T’was
the night before Christmas Leave and all through The Pit,

Not
a Greenshirt or Joe was stirring, except for the night watch.

The
Duty Roster was sorted out and laid carefully on the General’s desk,

And
all those not on it would be gone and away upon these, the holidays.

The
team was nestled all snug in their beds,

While
visions of Cobra-free days danced in their heads.

(I
suspect that Barrel Roll and Blackout’s still was involved somehow.)

I
leaned back at the main computer, a quiet night for a change,

When
the intruder alarm went off and caused such a clatter,

I
sprang up in my seat to see what was the matter.

To
the security monitors, my eyes moved like a flash,

It
seemed like before most of us went on vacation, we’d have to kick
ass.

The
moon shone clear on the desert night,

And
unlike what alarms and instincts screamed, everything looked alright.

With
a call to Hi-Tech to relieve me, I went to the top,

And
what I saw there made me stand and stop.

In
a hanger of Conquests and Storm Eagles sat a sleigh,

Powered
not by jet engines, but by eight reindeer.

(Either
St. Nick was here or Cobra Commander had lost it,

And
the latter seemed more likely to me than the former.)

True,
it seemed, my thoughts were, when my hand passed through where the
leader stood,

(A
holographic trick, two months too late)

And
in the corner of my eye, what did I see but a grey-clad Firefly.

“WIDESCOPE!
SHOCKWAVE! LAW and ORDER!

BARRICADE!
SURESHOT! MUTT and JUNKYARD!

Intruder
Alert! Intruder Alert! Firefly’s in the Hanger!”

Into
my Gauntlet with a fury I screamed.

From
all entrances, Joes into the hanger poured,

Security,
Mechanics, and an annoyed Beachhead and Cover Girl.

(In
civilian clothes, those two, appearantly back from a night on the
town)

Toward
the saboteur with anger they flew,

Ready
to punch him into the wall or the roof.

Then
with an explosion, the wall fell in,

And
the fence came down before HISSes and STUNs,

Explosions
and MG fire lit up the night,

As
Greenshirts and Joes joined in the fight.

HISSes
against MOBATs,

VAMPs
against STUNs,

If
they were smart,

They
should have chose to run.

Stupid
snakes, don’t they know?

If
you want to have a good night, don’t wake G.I. Joe.

With
a smirk on my face and guns in my hands,

I
gave a loud “Yo, JOE!” as I joined the fray,

Valor
and freedom would win the day.

In
the dark of night, a shining light,

To
drive the serpentine demons away.

(Definately
need to lay off the twins’ ‘special’ eggnog…)

A
battle hard-fought,

And
daybreak did show,

The
victory was ours,

and
again we cried, “Yo, JOE!”

He
slept through the battle,

through
the gunfire and bombs,

but
the Tomahawk awoke to our victory cry.

After
we filled him in, he looked slowly around,

then
he said with a grin,

“An
extra week of Leave to all…

Now
get out of my sight.”